Mountain bike ride to Embsay Crag, North Yorkshire, England

Sub-zero but sunny morning; Claire and I had a baby sitter so the perfect opportunity to explore some local trails.  I'd scoped a local route and today was perfect to ride it because all the bogs were frozen solid and easily rideable rather than the usual muddy slog.  The first 2 miles were on road before heading up a farm track then joining the trail.  Steep uphill grassy climb, across a little stone bridge and over a little frozen stream running across the trail.

Through one of the many gates that dot the countryside to keep the sheep where they're meant to be and onto the bogland.  I find one of the few patches of unfrozen mud to put my feet into while trying to show off my gnarly mtb skills to Claire.  This amuses her as she picks her way through daintily, keeping her feet dry.  Then the rocky climb to the summit where we sit soaking in the silence and the view.

And then a fun little ride back down with a stop in Downtown Skipton for coffee and cheesecake.

Here's a picture of my new mtb, a Boardman Pro.  Bought from Halfords (for Canadian viewers, imagine a slightly upmarket Crappy Tire which is making an effort to sell decent bikes), it is a superb bike with unbelievably good components at a very reasonable price.  IMO, this is what a mountain bike should look like - basically, a road bike with fat tyres...

Old Git rant

Here's a magnificent Old Git rant from Australia posted on Fyxomatosis:

PBK
Words by The Ghost.

Its official – the bikes are full of wankers these days and I fear there is no going back.
They’re killing our sport – literally. For those who have witnessed the carnage that is C grade club racing at Carnegie these last few weeks there’s a need to have a good hard look at what’s going on here. Who are these renegades that now inhabit our bunches wreaking havoc? Of course this new breed wouldn’t call them bunches - but Pelotons – being so au fait with the European aesthetic of their new found “hobby”. I’ve pondered from whence they came - wondered what was in their heads - and tonight it was all revealed. It’s Probikekit.
I was taking the long way home – around Kew Boulevard and then I came up behind them. Let’s call them Tosspot and Ponce. Both head to toe in Assos. Ponce on a Look 595 dripping in carbon everything. Tosspot on a Trek Madone and wearing silver time trial aero shoe covers. No change out of $30,000. “Hi fellas” - They turned to look at the old bloke on his 30kg frankenbike with his backpack and faded old jersey on and you could BREATHE the contempt. I contemplated just coming through but then these guys always take this as some sort of challenge - so there I sat on the wheels listening to them warble on about the only conversation subject that these guys and their contemporaries appear capable of engaging in these days - Bike Gear from Probikekit.
Ponce “Got new shoes mate?”
Tosspot “Yeh Sidi Ergo Twos - $369 on Probikekit. I got two pairs – black coz they look pretty cool and a white pair for the hot days coz the black ones heat up” (I thought he said they were cool??).
Ponce “Nice. Seen my new Garmin? Dakota 20. Preloaded 3D maps, elevations and barometrics. $357 on Probikekit. You get a free pair of sunglasses but they’re crap. I’m getting new Oakley Jawbones – but there not on Probikekit yet”
Tosspot “You racing on the Zipps or the Reynolds on Saturday?”
At this point we hit a rise and as my brain explodes with bike tech overload I come through and pull away from them. True to form Ponce jumps across and it’s on. What kudos there might be in taking on a 47 year old bloke on the cycling equivalent of a ’92 Camry with a boot full of rocks I don’t know – but I think these are the same sort of guys that pull wings off flies and beat up on the fat kid at school. They come through and they’re back in their rightful place on the front smirking. The only plus is that the effort seems to have taken away some of their capacity to talk quite as much sh1t – but Ponce still manages to blurt out “Hey mate what wattage were you putting out there?” Tosspot consults the Garmin.
We come to the final rise – my blood is boiling now. I hit ‘em VERY hard and power up the hill. I drop them. As we roll to the bottom I yell across – “see if they sell some of that on Probikekit”
They looked more bemused than offended. Like blokes with pegs on their noses who’ve farted in an elevator they can’t even understand why someone might find them offensive. What’s so irksome is that you know that these guys will be racing C and D grade. It’s as good as they are ever gonna get and for us old blokes falling back through the grades - if you race – you’ll be racing with them. That means there’s a real chance that you will wind up like Bob Quirk. Taken wide in a corner at Glenvale last Sunday by one of these dickheads and now having facial reconstruction surgery in the Alfred. Pain. Time off work. Most likely a Mrs on his case about how he should give it away coz he’s too old and it’s too dangerous and he should spend more time with the kids.
When he does get home - Out in the shed looking at a wrecked bike that he’s actually worked hard to own. A bike he probably put together himself. A bike that he’s always done his own maintenance on. A bike that he actually had some emotional investment in. A bike he didn’t buy off Probikekit but from a mate – who like a chump – runs the local bike shop and is trying to scratch out a living competing with the likes of Probikekit.
Bob might contemplate like I do about the time before the Cafe Bunches and Cadel and the endless Carbon, Carbon, Carbon when part of the appeal of the training ride (Remember them?) was talking about something other than bike parts. Politics, religion, art, economics, nature and music were all on the agenda as you rolled back from an honest effort in the hills. People who rabbited on about bike bits forever were seen as being a bit touched – social lepers – now they’re the patrons of the Peloton.
No one wants to learn how to ride a bike now. Unfortunately for the rest of us who are racing these turds you can’t buy supplesse or tempo or grunt or cornering skills on Probikekit. I recall that when I had the privilege of riding with the old pros I did three things. Firstly I shut my mouth – you were usually so on the rivet holding the wheels that you couldn’t speak anyway – and then I looked and I listened. Like dogs at a barbecue us kids were completely focussed on getting any scrap of wisdom from these guys that we could. We sat on the back in total respect. We listened to how they breathed. We watched every pedal stroke – every gear change. How does he get through that corner so fast? Did he touch the brakes? Does he drop his heels when climbing? And we took their taunts like the miserable rank amateurs that we were.
Then there was track racing. You weren’t even considered a bike rider until you’d done a few seasons on the track - Gone to the country carnivals sleeping on someone’s floor and eating tin rice cream hoping that if you and your mates got a few places there’d be enough cash between you to go and get a counter meal and put petrol in the car to get home. At Carnegie track racing was still segregated when I started. The Pros raced their races and us amateurs ours. In between the Pros sat in the middle of the track cooking in the sun – amateurs on the outside under a tree – soft. But to these new guys a track bike is “A Fixie” - something you ride in tight jeans to a fringe film festival or boutique brewery. I imagine you can buy them on Probikekit.
Sure as kids we coveted the pro’s bikes but back then it was understood that you had to earn the right to ride a Campag equipped Colnago. If we’d have dared to show up on a bike like that then we were expected to have the goods in the legs – otherwise you were just a blowhard. “All show and no go” they would say. A pretender.
I don’t know what the solution is and I’m not sure I know what the genesis of this plague has been. Obviously the sport’s profile and popularity has risen immeasurably but that doesn’t explain the over confident I’m the centre of the universe mindset of this new generation of riders. Obviously it is something broader – something societal. We view technology as the panacea to all ills. Got no friends? Facebook. Not placing in the races? Carbon bottle cages should fix that. I know that I’m starting to come across now as the archetypal grumpy old b@stard. Jaded, bitter. Bemoaning the younger generation’s lack of respect. And then I contemplated that maybe it’s always been this way.. Maybe back in the day to the older guys- I too seemed the same as these kids seem to me. Young and full of myself.
Once as we approached the mountains - we kids were giggling and dicking about. One of the older guys fell back pointed to the hills and said “Do you know who lives there?
The eternal smart arse I replied “I dunno – The Beverley Hillbillies?” Laughs all round.
He asked again in a tone that made us all go quiet.
“Do you know who lives there? Pain lives there. We’ll see who’s still laughing at the top. I think it’s time to shut up now and let the legs do the talking”
One kid put very much back in his little box.
Maybe Ponce and Tosspot are back in theirs - even if only for a minute or two.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest I need to get on Probikekit and have a look at these shoes

---

Martin's Hawaii ride

Martin just sent this so I thought I'd post it - awesome.  Click on the picture to see it more clearly.  Hopefully he'll write a full account of the ride soon.

The Noob Ride

Winter is finally here in the United Arab Emirates, which means beautiful riding weather at last. Riding here in the summer is best compared to setting up your bike on a turbo in a steam room, and to be honest that, combined with work commitments, have kept me indoors since April. In fact, the last time I went on a long Friday ride (Friday being our Sunday here) is nearly a year ago. Questions were beginning to be asked by my triathlon relay team. Questions such as "why are you so bloody slow this year you old git?" So that, combined with successful entry into next year's Etape du Tour, meant it was time to take action. The alarm was set for 4 a.m., and a suitably secluded road near the Abu Dhabi - Dubai border selected.



This isn't quite the world's longest straight road, but after riding 50 km without a single bend you wouldn't know it, or care. No matter, perfect to burn off some calories and get the miles in, with a few short, gentle 7% climbs over the dunes. Time for a nice gentle 100 km ride, home in time for breakfast and an afternoon kip. It was a beautiful morning, 15-20 degrees and not a breath of wind.


Then, 70 km into my planned 100 km ride, I noticed something very strange. A gaggle (peloton is too orderly a description) of cyclists joining from a road on my left. Yes, I'd inadvertently stumbled upon the notorious Dubai noob ride. If you are a noob yourself, you might want to stop reading now. If you're not sure, or if you just want to avoid noobs (recommended), here's a heads up:

• Noobs always wear helmets with a peak. I can think of no logical reason why a helmet was ever designed with a peak. I guess it's a tribal thing like roadies' shaved legs, or mountain bikers' body piercings. Noobs wear peaked helmets because other noobs wear peaked helmets and that's just the way of it.
• Noobs always wear Camelbaks with as many pipe type thingys as possible hanging out the side.
  
• Noobs always form as many small groups as possible rather than riding in a peloton. The aim of each of these groups appears to be to take up as much road space as possible, thus causing maximum inconvenience to other, faster road traffic. Specifically me in this case.
• Noobs' bikes of choice are either a) Scott, b) Trek, or c) anything outrageously expensive, such as the Colnago Ferrari I saw being pushed up one of the aforementioned 7% rises.
• Noobs always ride Shimano. Peasants.
• Tri bars are always to be fitted on a noob ride, but only used when riding in close proximity to others, never when riding on your own.
  
• Noobs are generally at least 30 kg overweight, which they compensate for by saving weight on things like food, inner tubes, or a pump. And if another one of them ever flags me down again to borrow my pump I'll insert it somewhere Mr Silca never designed it for.
• Noobs are generally MAMILs (middle aged men in lycra). And fat (did I mention that already?)
• A shoulder mounted mp3 player is de rigeur on a noob ride. Which explains the helmet, cos they're going to need it.
• Noob-ettes always wear floral pink sleeveless cycling tops, then complain loudly about gender stereotyping to anyone who isn't listening to their shoulder mounted mp3 player.
• Noob rides are always either 'sponsored' rides, usually 'against cancer' (please, someone tell me - how do you 'ride against cancer'?) or 'practice' for a sponsored ride. As far as I can tell, this just means you pay for the privilege of riding your bike on the open road.
  

In short, these people are a plague, and here I was, 70 km into my 100 km ride, trying my best to pass a gaggle of hundreds of the things.

And this is when the true horror of my situation struck me.

Since they were on a 'sponsored' ride, they were following a set course of - gasp - 80 kms. Which meant their turnaround point was another 40 kms along nearly-the world's-longest-straight-road. To complete my already over ambitious 100 km ride, I had planned to turn around in another 10 km - but that would make me 'the guy who took the shortcut' - a shame I could not live with. Not only that, if I turned at their turnaround point to avoid being 'the guy who took the shortcut', I would a) end up doing a leg breaking 160 km, and b) probably TURN INTO A NOOB MYSELF AS I RODE THE SAME COURSE! A lifetime of peaked helmets, camelbaks, and Shimano equipped Scott bikes seemed to stretch out ahead of me.

So there was really only one thing to do - ride past their turnaround point to demonstrate my unquestionable athletic superiority, turn around and ride/crawl/hitch-hike back, resulting in an ill advised 180 km ride.

Fortunately I survived this near death brush with the noobs, and eventually made it home with very sore legs to find an invite for a meltdown eat all you can Thanksgiving lunch. And someone learnt to never, ever invite a man who's ridden 180 kms to 'eat all you can'.

Toy Ride

Here are a few pictures of my Saturday Ride, November 20th. It was to be a Toy Ride that Escape Velocity Cycle Club puts on every year. Mother nature had other ideas. I decided to head out any way. It was a short ride, about 30k. There was about 2 inches of snow. Just enough to make it a little slick. Still it was nice to get out. The first picture is the Burrard Street Bridge looking South. Still a little slushy in the bike lane. The second picture is Jerico Park where the ride was to start. The third picture is my Redline R760. This is my winter bike. Seems to be collecting a lot of snow in the front fender. The last picture is the Lions Gate Bridge looking North to the North Shore. There was still at least 2 inches of snow on the sidewalk. I took it real slow on the down side. There was a city worker with a snow blower clearing the snow of the sidewalk. The City of Vancouver works crews were also out cleaning all the bike lanes. It was good to see all the snow being removed from the bike lanes as the temperature has dropped down to minis 9 with a wind chill of minis 17. Very cold but dry. Still see a few commuters battling the cold. Unseasonably cold for Vancouver.

Southern Ontario CX

Greetings world cyclists, the CX season is upon us and for some in N america it is almost over regrettably.
This will be my third season racing road and CX and I'm starting to notice the progress. I started racing CX in Vancouver in 2008 and for my first race in Brighton park on the Eclipse, a touring bike sold to me be a friend made of what felt like turn of the century aluminum. I remember enduring the sweet pain and laughing as negotiated the course. I felt like I was 9 yrs old, front derailleur jamming, getting caught at the base of hills in big ring, crashing and working much too hard. I finished the race with a small tingling in my stomach. I was in love.
Since then I have gone to Portland,OR. twice to compete in the USGP, not to crush anyone but to be a part of the the CX embrace. A bosom so comforting one toys with the idea of dropping road. We love the road but we wish it was rid of it's staunchiness, wattmeters and weight weenies. Oh and rid of it's shaky riders as well. CX doesn't have this to any degree. I think it was Jeremy Powers I once heard say " CX isn't fun, screwing my girlfriend is fun. CX is about pain". I prefer to elaborate and suggest CX is about pain and beer.
I moved back to Ontariario last year and the CX scene here is fantastic and getting fantasticker. We have approx 15 races in S Ontario and a whole bunch more in E Ontario as well. There's a lot of CX here and the courses are truly fantastic. Where BC has the mountains their CX courses are relatively flat. Here in Ontario we don't have them mountains but we make up for it in CX.
CX season will be coming to an end in 2 weeks and I'm sad to see a good friend go. I did invest in an excellent set of rollers this year, but there's nothing like grass under the tubulars. I will be getting the road bike painted which is exciting and I' collecting a full DA 7400 series groupo for a build I have in mind. I'm thinking of a De Rosa Neo Primato.

Christie pits, Toronto
My cx skills have noticeably improved as I am working very hard on them and searching for the 'ballerina' within. Some great successes have occurred when I concentrate on being smooth and graceful combined with powering hard out of the corners. But when you try to stomp on the course, the course will stomp on you. I'm riding steel, made in Canada, and loving it.

November Bike to Work Week Vancouver B.C.

The Vancouver Area Cycling Coalition puts on a bike to work week twice a year. Once in May and then in November. They put up commuter stations around Vancouver in strategic locations for promotional reasons and to give commuters a little break. They offer hot and cold drinks. They also have lots of snacks. They usually have some bike mechanics on hand to help with any little problems.

Well the bike to work to week started out with the usual Vancouver weather. Lots of rain. I think it was a record day of rain in Vancouver. My commute is from Surrey to North Vancouver about 37k. I stopped at one of the commuter stations dotted around Vancouver. This station just happened to be on my commute in, located under the Iron Workers Bridge. By the time i got there i was ready for some of there complementary coffee and snacks. I was 30k into my 37k commute. Considering the rain everybody at the station was in great spirits. Nice to see lots of people out considering all the rain. I was told later that about 70 commuters went through that station. The commute home was a lot better. No RAIN, just a great ride.

Tuesdays commute was a lot nicer. Clear skies and dry roads. There were a lot more commuters on the road today. There is nothing better than passing traffic well maybe another cyclist. There are a lot of very fit commuters out there. I learned very quickly that i can't catch every commuter on the road. Lots of fun trying. This makes for exciting ride in. Lots of great personalities out there. I met a commuter that commutes from Surrey to Annacis Island. His round trip is 36k. He has been doing this for 12 years. He said he has logged just over a 100,000k on his commute. He is also on his third bike. He commutes every work day in all weather. As usual there was a station on the Lions Gate Bridge and i made a pit stop there. It takes me about one and a half hours to get from Surrey to the Lions Gate Bridge, about 37k. As of 7:40am about 100 commuters have crossed the bridge. Oh Lisa said to say HI SEAN. I try to get off work a little early so i can ride home in day light. Its a drag riding both ways in the dark.

Thursday i left a little later. This put me on the Iron Workers Bridge at sun up. Wow what a view. Its nice to stop every once and a while to check out the view. Another great day for commuting. Lots of commuters coming over the bridge. It won't be much longer and we will be into rush hour for cyclists.

Friday i left early. My whole commute home was in day light. I decided to take the Central Valley Green Way home. This is an off road route that covers about one third of my commute. It is partially paved and the rest is hard pact gravel. It runs alone a river, lots of trees and a couple of fisher man. Its very quite. Kind of like riding through the forest but still in the city. This was best route of the week.

To sum up my bike to work week. I biked a total of three days. About 220k. I was hoping to make the whole week. My best bike to work week yet has been just over 300k. It has been a while since i have been on my bike. Bike to work week always gets me back on track. It was great to see so many commuters on the road. I think i heard that the commuter stations registered a 123% increase in commuters this year. The best part about bike commuting is no stress in rush hour traffic.

Cervelo P3 TT

Well I don't know if this is my favourite bike, and it's probably the ugliest bike I've ever owned, but it certainly makes me smile more than any other bike I've ever owned.

Since there's very little in the way of time trialling in the UAE, most of my races are relay triathlons (hey, what's the point being crap at 3 sports when one will do quite nicely), and if there's one thing UAE expat triathletes love more than racing, it's being seen racing. Every race is a steady procession of bike porn. I'm afraid to put my bike next to some of the machines in the transition zone in case I scratch them and have to remortgage my house to pay for the damage.

Being notoriously cheap and permanently skint, I couldn't justify such expenditure to the accounts department (and she already has a problem understanding why I would need a 5th bike anyway), so had to resort to ebay to fulfill my time trial bike requirements. The result was this original 2001 Cervelo P3 bought for a mere $450. Prize money paid for the extravagantly expensive wheels, apart from that it's all spare parts except for the forks. My good friends at the VW workshop in Abu Dhabi looked after the respray in return for a box of dates, and the replacement stickers were another $25 from ebay. The result? A very unaerodynamic ear to ear grin and an audible 'kerching' every time this beast overtakes one of its more expensive bretheren. And what's the best sound on the time trial course? Your disc wheel? No, it's the sound of the disc wheels you overtake.

Eddy Merckx Corsa Extra Team 7-11

Here she is - my Eddy Merckx resprayed and built up.  I've had her since about 1993 when I bought her off a friend who'd raced her for a couple of years.  She became my good training/second race bike, equipped with a mix of Campag and Mavic parts.  But the years took their toll on her as she became more of a training bike and eventually a winter bike - and as we all know, General Winter destroys bikes.  The last straw was when I lent her to someone who had had his bike stolen and he treated her with contempt. When I eventually managed to get her back, she had huge scratches all over, a dent in the top tube and the seatpost rammed all the way down.  But it is such a classy frame that I couldn't face binning her so I took her to local framebuilder Ellis Briggs who did a beautiful (if pricey) and almost spot-on new paint job in her original 7-11 team colours - this was the team bike of the early 90s 7-11 American pro team, as ridden in all the great European races by Sean Yates, Andy Hampsten, Steve Bauer etc.

She's now put together with a mix of old and new bits.  Frame is Columbus SLX, the main rival to Reynolds 753 in its day.  It's meant to have spiral internal ribs like rifling that make it stiffer.  Wheels are Open Pro on Record hubs, circa 2004.  Brakes are Record from about 1998, and rear mech Record Titanium 9 speed from 2000ish.  It just says 'Campagnolo' on the brakes, no mention of Record.  Campag never used to put the gruppo name on components, way too vulgar.  You had to know the subtle difference between components to identify groupset - for example, the brakes have hidden bolts.  Front mech is Chorus, I think, the last remaining component from my first real race bike, my Brian Rourke 653 from 1988.  The mech still works (sort of).  The chainset is Record too, although mid 2000s vintage - if you know your onions, you can tell this from the distance by the the hidden bolt in the crank arm (although they started to do this with late model Chorus cranks too).  The seatpost is mid-90s - no name but it has the very distinctive Record neck.  Headset Record 2010.  Stem is Cinelli (new? I think Cinelli have quietly started making quill stems again to compete with the thriving NOS market) and bars Deda - good old fashioned 1" quill stem, 26mm diameter bars - not an oversized tube in sight.  Levers are early 2000s Veloce, not a top groupset, but at the risk of sounding like an old git, I think they built stuff better then - they're solid quality.  The saddle is a San Marco Concor Lite, a classic saddle that San Marco have started making again as it is the saddle of choice of Mr Armstrong.  The ride is supreme steel, jingly and tingly and with Merckx rail-like handling.  However, it has built up a lot lighter than it used to be, because of the newer, lighter components; I bet it's under 20lbs.  You could race this bike any day of the week and it would not be a liability.